This is going to be a bit of a weird post, so beware. Basically I’m ranting about my laptop. Someone please come fix it. Or just buy me a new one maybe? Because I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE. Every day is a struggle. Today I’ll be listing the reasons why.
(Don’t worry, I’m quite a calm blueberry most of the time. But when it comes to my laptop…)
(Also yes, I named my laptop. Gerry. Short for Gerald. Very majestic, don’t you think?)
(the more I look at this heading, the more I hate the fact that I put an emoji in like an annoying 10-year-old girl but oh well, I just wanted to emphasise my anger)
- His keyboard was definitely treated cruelly in his past life (I’m pretty sure he was new but still) because you literally have to punch the keys for the letters to appear, especially the space bar. I always get annoyed in books when someone ‘punches’ a number into a phone or ‘punches’ the button for the lift, because I just see in my mind the person literally punching the phone, and I’m thinking wow why are they being so aggressive with that delicate piece of technology, but NOW I UNDERSTAND. I have to literally smack my keyboard to get it to form legible words, and you can see why this is frustrating when I’m writing a blog post and I look up and see that allthe wods aremushd togethe rto mak a BLOB. This paragraph alone has taken me 3 hours and 17 minutes to write (I mean I’m not timing myself but that seems like an accurate amount of time) because I keep having to go back and split words up, like guys please stop hugging and start making sense.
- The mouse is very very overexcited and wants to go everywhere and see everything AT DIFFERENT MAGNIFICATIONS and just no, mouse. I beg of you, please calm down. I’ve had to plug in one of those old PC mice because mine is just so hyper. I mean, when I start it’ll be ok, but after a short time it gets bored and disaster strikes.
- WiFi? What’s that? Gerry just can’t connect. He doesn’t have the best social skills. I have to have, in addition to my special USB mouse, a lil WiFi adaptor and yes, it’s pretty cute and tiny but also I’d prefer to just take my laptop anywhere in the house without help. Come on, Gerry, you’re approaching your first birthday! It’s time you connected by yourself.
- I can’t get Microsoft! I know, upsetting. Well, I do have Microsoft – meaning I can see documents I’ve carried over from my old laptop – but I have to pay to actually create/edit stuff. I don’t see why, really. Isn’t free access to Microsoft a basic human right?? So yeah, I mostly use Google Drive these days which is good but you can’t do as much.
- BUT I still do love and appreciate Gerry. He is my son after all! He’s quite small and light so easily portable (well, not to the point where I could carry him around in a handbag, but you know what I mean) which is always nice.
- My last laptop had such a problem with our printer that I had to email all my documents to my mum’s laptop to print them on hers, and that is just unnecessary hard work and effort. But now that I have Gerry I can easily print what I like!
- Unlike my old laptop, he actually works at a normal pace! So thanks Gerry. With my last laptop, it would’ve literally taken me a day to write this post. IMAGINE THE PAIN. I am not a patient person when it comes to technology, as you may have noticed throughout this post.
So I think it’s clear to see where my feelings are for Gerry. Though I still am thankful that I have a machine thing that does work most of the time! I guess I’m just more aware of the bad things. I’ve never lovingly stroked my laptop, but I have punched it and hurt myself more than I’ve hurt him which is even more frustrating. But yeah, thanks for sticking by me Gerry, despite my sometimes slightly aggressive response to your flaws.
Wow, this has been weird. Sorry if reading this was a complete waste of your time! But it’s nice to rant so thanks for being there y’all *sniffs* ♥
Do you have a stressful laptop? Do you face similar struggles to me? How do you cope?
P.S. I got Bloglovin’! You can now follow me on that if ya want to.